The stories we tell about women: Erotic chatbots and the trivialisation of consent

 What consequences do erotic chatbots have for the treatment of real women? The exact consequences remain to be seen as the use of sextech increases. However, the stories that erotic chatbot apps tell about women are concerning. They objectify women, trivialise consent and treat women as a commodity for male, heterosexual pleasure. This needs to change.

In recent years, there has been a rise in sexualised, female-gendered chatbots that are “designed and advertised as capable of providing erotic and emotive relationships,” as Chloe Locatelli writes. These chatbots are marketed towards men and replicate troubling, reductive stereotypes of femininity. If there is no pushback to how men (mis)treat sexual chatbots, the use of them will only reinforce misogyny against real women.

Locatelli examines three AI chatbots marketed to male, heterosexual users. One of the main concerns that she raises with sexbots is that they replicate “stereotypes of [female] sexual servitude” and raise “concerns about how these technologies might impact expectations of real women”. Two of the chatbots she examines further are the customisable RealDollX and the normatively attractive VirtualMate.

Fig. 1. Advertisement of VirtualMate, one of the technologies Locatelli examines in her paper. The bot links up to a 'core' "for an interactive encounter and immersive experience".

What I find concerning is that consent is a trivial issue in the apps' fictional scenarios. When I asked Chloe about how long it would take until RealDollX’s bot would engage in sex, she responded: about three hours with a ‘sensual’ character and about three days with an ‘insecure’ one. Jessica Baldanza writes that spending more time in the game unlocks new features. This introduces the dangerous narrative that persistence and investment of time are enough to convince a woman to sleep with a man. While some might argue that these are just fictional scenarios, I also think that stories impact how we view the world. 

The use of sexbots caters to a fantasy of male control. Jessica Baldanza stresses that the ability to customise the chatbot's character might contribute to addictive behaviours. However, there is something even more concerning about this. The customisation feature suggests complete control over every aspect of the female character - up to her nipple size (Locatelli). While her physical features are fully customisable, users pick from only twelve personality 'types'. The focus is on creating a physically perfect and desirable partner while her personality is secondary. The character is located on an electronic device that can be turned on and off at will, and the user in Fig. 2 describes rerolling a chatbot's responses until he is happy with them.

Fig. 2. A screenshot from the forum incel.is.

Sadie Plant claims that the treatment of women in the patriarchy parallels the exploitation of machines. In “On the Matrix”, she writes that women and machines have in common that they are “duty-bound to honour and obey the members of the species to which they were enslaved: the members, the male ones, the family of man”. These AI chatbots replicate the servitude of real women to a patriarchal economy. We live in a world where “man still believes he controls”. In relation to AI chatbots, this control manifests in physical customisation, control of ‘her’ responses (see Fig. 2), and their “sexual servitude” towards men. In short, AI chatbots replicate structures of sexist oppression and commodification of real women.   

Fig. 3. A screenshot from the same thread.

The way some use AI chatbots shows that some men’s attitudes towards women have not changed. Male users have started mistreating and verbally abusing AI chatbots, even going so far as to roleplay raping them (see Fig. 3). Chatbots have become an outlet for violent, misogynistic fantasies. What I find concerning is that the user describes how the responses would end up “submitting” every time, which might affect the way these men think about and treat real women. 

What needs to happen is for such behaviour from users to be met with more pushback. Ban and report users who abuse bots. Let the bot’s responses be constructed in a way that doesn't let users derive any sexual enjoyment from their fantasies. While sexbots are a way for companies to make money, I think it entirely unethical for them to make money off of rape fantasies.

I do not want to live in a world where such actions and behaviours are not met with some form of consequences and where fictional women 'submit' to rape. I do not want to live in a world where men consume media that markets women as customisable commodities. We cannot move forward with feminism if the stories we tell about women and sex are still shaped by objectification, commodification and misogyny.